July 10, 2013 Loving How God Gets Specific, a confession!

The theme for our messages this summer at church has been Faith in Motion, and the theme for this Sunday was “At the Center of the YOUniverse.” The take home one liner at the top of the paper was this: IF I choose to life FOR myself, I will end up living BY myself.

Saturday at a family reunion of sorts, my niece, like everyone I know, asked how I was liking retirement.  Even I was surprised at my answer: "I didn’t know how lonely it would be. "

 Are you beginning to see how things are coming together here?  We are a one car family, live in the country, a little over a hour to my nearest child, so when I say good by to my husband in the morning, it is me and technology at home…and my wonderful books.

So, I set up a schedule – chores, Bible study, chores and lunch hour, get dinner started, and work on writing projects around any major chores not done in the morning.  As I listened to the message Sunday, I could not help but take it personally – and I think that is a mark of a good message – you can take it personally.

I recognized how much of my day was arranged around me and what I wanted/needed to do.  I am asking God to help me to be very aware of His presence every morning, to empty myself of my desires, my plans and allow Him to put back what needs back and to guide me to what I have not thought of. 

I have been researching hospice this week, and last night we watched the movie Two Weeks about the last two weeks of the mother’s life, her adult children around her being human.  Watching the movie was like watching the book I am reading, a memoir about the last three weeks of a woman’s life, told from the perspective of her daughter.

 It struck me in both the movie and the book, that end of life issues are so different for us as believers.  We have hope, purpose, both in our lives and our deaths. The more we make either one about pursuing our own happiness, the more miserable we will be.  But if we are able to find joy in serving others, even if it is in serious praying for others, the greater will be our peace and joy. ( I am not saying praying is a little thing, but we too often make the bigger acts of doing more important than prayer.)

My loneliness came a lot from selfishness – remembering and longing for the great companionship I had at work, instead of thanking God for those wonderful memories.  Hmmm, I am so glad that God never stops teaching us….and giving us more opportunities for peace and joy.