Wednesday, December 23, 2009

I don't know what to say

Have you ever been there, in prayer and you didn't know what to say or how to pray?  When that happens, I am always confronted with the reality of how much of my prayers are prescriptive prayers - This is how you need to fix it God.  And isn't that little more that arrogance, that I should be telling God what to do at all?

It is in these moments that I  hit the proverbial brick wall, and I have no idea of how to fix it or what to do.  And I find myself sitting before God struggling to figure out what to do or say.  Sometimes I tell him just what I am thinking, that I don't even know how the situation can be redeemed, how it can be resolved without serious pain in the lives of the people involved.  And I hurt for everyone involved, me included.

What foolishness all of that is!  As if God needed my help.  I know we are compelled to bring our burdens and petitions and requests to Him, but I am not sure it says anywhere that we are supposed to tell him how to answer those requests or what to do about those situations.  He is God, after all, and not limited by our imagination.

And then Philip Yancy's words from Where Is God When It Hurts? comes to mind, "Romans 8 announces the good news that we need not figure out how to pray.  We need only groan.  As I read Paul's words, an image comes to mind of a mother tuning in to her child's wordless cry...The Spirit of God has resources of sensitivity beyond those of even the wisest mother."

It made me think of those early months and years of a child's life, any of my children's lives.  I would wake from a sound sleep, hearing tiny noises, and later cries from their bassinets or cribs.  Sometimes, it was little more than a sigh; sometimes it was the stirring that would turn into an insistent cry if I didn't meet a need quickly.  And I did, get there and tend to that child as quickly as possible even though that child did not utter one clear syllable - only a breath not-quite-right, or a whimper.  My heart was touched, and because I loved that child so passionately, I would do anything to relieve his or her distress.

And so God loves us, or even more does God love us, and when we have no words to define our pain, He hears our whimper, our not-quite-right sigh, and he envelops us in his love and grace, if we would take the time to notice.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you. "Thy will be done," has become the most repetitive prayer in my life about all those situations that reduce me to moans and groans. I loved the illustration of the baby's cries and the mother's response. Beautiful.

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