Psalm 139:16 You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.
I love the French word chargee`. It has the sense of being too busy, pressed, overwhelmed; think charged. When I think of this book with every day, every event of my life recorded, I think chargee,every space filled in, with tiny writing between the lines recording even the thoughts nobody else knew.
Then I think of the temptation to blame God for all the junk in there, the bad choices that mar, probably every page. The verse does say that every moment was laid out before it happened, so because God is sovereign, it must be his fault.
But the Holy Spirit won't let me get away with that. He reminds me that I made those bad decisions on my own. Nobody made me do it, whether I like it or not. I admit this is a conundrum, my will and God's sovereignty, but it is real....the my will part.
Finally , I am challenged. God knew it all. He knew all of my junk, all the bad thoughts and deeds, and He still loved me, still chose me to make me His own. This is what Christmas is about, the birth of the one whose life and death marked paid in full over all my sin debts recorded in those pages.
Thank you God, Most High, for your gift....the greatest gift of all.
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