And we know that all things work together for them that love God, to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
"Instead of thinking of the Christian life as what we do, isn’t it time to emphasize once again what God does?" I was talking with a friend about the years when we were raising our children. Three children = three different youth groups on three different nights. Count in the Sunday night service and Wednesday night prayer meeting. Of course, I was involved with the women's missionary activities and nursery and bottom line, when the church doors were open, at least one or more Kings were there.
We were there because we loved God, but also because that's where we thought we had to be - pursuing God hard, because that appeared to be what the Church said a good Christian did. We went on to be missionaries in Chad, Africa. There I home schooled our three children, prepared 15 0 guest meals in addition to our own family, and this was in a place where there was no grocery store - no frozen foods, and no fast foods. In fact, we had a kerosene fridge and I made most meals on a two burner kerosene stove or a charcoal fire outside.
I also cared for 30 overnight guests , wrote monthly thank yous to our supporting churches as well as assisted in our monthly prayer letters, taught a ladies' class, a sewing class/Bible study, and a boys' class...and for a while an English as a Second Language Class...And canned mango sauce in season and well, you get the picture. A good Christian lady, I played by the rules. The problem is they weren't God's rules. I was pursuing God so loudly that I couldn't hear Him pursuing me.
It was just after siesta, time to make the beds again, the laundry finally dry, and I was at my wit's end, sitting on my son's bed, his mosquito netting in my face as I sobbed incoherently...a failure. That's how I felt, a failure, doing too many things, and feeling like I was doing none of them well. In the ensuing days, I cried out to God often, knowing things just couldn't go on this way.
Cecil Murphrey, author of Encountering a Relentless God puts it this way, "
Many times throughout the years, I’ve cried out to God (in my rebellious moods) and asked why I was the object of such a divine quest. I never heard a voice from heaven, but I have learned this much: I’m not unique. This “stalking” goes on in all our lives, because God has called each of us “according to his purpose.... For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son” (Romans 8:28–29 nlt). As we become aware of this constant wooing from heaven, we also realize that we can’t compare ourselves to others, because God doesn’t speak to all of us with the same voice. The Pursuing One places a strict obedience upon us so that we can’t measure our lives or compare ourselves to other believers. At times it seems as if some of the “good” Christians—even the great leaders of the church—can do things that we’re not allowed to do.
Http://www.cbn.com/spirituallife/BibleStudyAndTheology/Discipleship/murphey_godpursues0302.aspx
I had to be reminded that God had called me to a life of love, joy and peace, not this agony I was experiencing as I tried to be the good missionary, doing what all the other women appeared to be doing. So I learned I had to say "No" sometimes. I learned I had to first counsel with God before I said "Yes" because He was pursuing me for my benefit. I had gotten mixed up and deceived into pursuing the standards others laid down, or so I thought, and the law that never made people righteous in the Old Testament is not any better when allowed to control a life today.
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