Thursday, May 29, 2014

He’ll just have to understand!

When I was a freshman in college, I endeavored to write a term paper about love, believe it or not.  I looked up a lot of terms and thought about different kinds of love, parent-child, husband-wife and wife -husband, and the kind of love where someone dies sacrificially for another…like a soldier. But I did not get a great grade on that paper! When I think about it today, I did not know a lot about love at 17. However, as I reflect on love today, I think I Corinthians 13 still says it all.

Love suffereth long and is kind. Love envieth not. Love vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
Doth not behave itself unseemly, Seeketh not her own, Is not easily provoked, Thinketh no evil
Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth, Beareth all things, Believeth all things, Hopeth all things, Endureth all things. Love never faileth. KJV
 
Love never gives up.  Love cares more for others than for self.  Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.  Love doesn’t strut, Doesn’t have a swelled head, Doesn’t force itself on others, Isn’t a;ways  “Me first,” Doesn’t fly off the handle, Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, Doesn’t revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end. Love never dies. The Message

In real life, it is a lot easier to say, or to agree to, or even to vow to love someone than to really live it out.  Our instinct is to look out first for our own self, for what we want, for what we think will make us happy, and that instinct is faulty! We will never be happy when we try to manipulate others or events to get what we think we want. This is where the ,"He'll just have to understand," comes in.  It usually follows a time when we have done something we know he does not like, and we count on his understanding, all the while knowing we probably have hurt him.

But real love finds joy and peace and satisfaction in loving others, practically, in deeds.  That means real love is most satisfied when it exerts itself for the good of others.  That requires consideration of what the other person(s) needs, what is best for them, what will bring them joy and safety and a greater understanding of Christ’s love.  After all, our love should be modeled after His sacrificial love. He, not only left heaven, but gave His life for us; that's a pretty high standard of sacrifice.

So instead of spending time daydreaming about what we want, spending time thinking about what we deserve, spending time thinking about how to get our way or our desires, we could devote that time to selflessly loving others, thinking about how we can show them our love.  Then we will know real joy as we put those words or pledge of love into acts of love.  Take it from a parent of many decades, there is nothing like the joy of seeing your child’s face light up because of something you have done for them or said to them.  There is nothing like seeing your spouse’s face light up when you have discovered a new way to please him or her….and I promise you, that joy is way better than the kind you get from winning an argument or getting your own way.

And if the latter is the way you find happiness, you might want to check up on who is influencing you.

Some thoughts hanging around after the wedding…

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