I think I am fairly average - a confession!

Feb 8, 2014

I think I am fairly average, and that’s quite a confession.  I love the creation process, the getting the thing on paper, the batter in the pan, the picking out a vacation spot.  The problem is that those decisions require follow-up, the editing, the decorating the cake, and the packing for vacation – not especially the fun parts.  And I think most people can relate to that.

Before Christmas, I did a lot of work on a writing project to give my family, not enough editing, and as a writing teacher I know that is because I did not give the work enough resting time before I called it done.  Anyway, Christmas came and went, the project was given and reality set in.
The work was not finished, and I knew it, even before God showed me where I had filed all of those letters I wrote to my sister when we lived in Africa…great resources to help finish that draft written before Christmas.  But I am finding is so hard to get back into the decision-making and rewrite process.  So I carry the stuff around from room-to-room, finding excuses, like the vacuuming or emptying the dishwasher or the laundry, to keep me from getting back to work.  Have you ever had a project like that?

This morning I read my section from A YEAR WITH GOD, and it talked about how fervently Hannah prayed, how the praying changed her.  My conscience was pricked.  So I decided I needed to read more of the Scripture this morning, and I was going to read something I hadn’t in a while…and that led me to THE MESSAGE and I Thessalonians and the following passage:
  The way we conceive the future sculpts the present, gives contour and tone to nearly every action and thought through the day.  If our sense of the future is weak, we live listlessly.  Much emotional and mental illness and most suicides occur among men and women who feel they “have no future.”  Ken Taylor, introduction to First and Second Thessalonians, The Message

Listlessly got me.  I was wandering around my house listlessly, and I have a future, and a worthwhile project, one I think God wants me to finish. I just need to face the reality of whose voice I have been listening to. One says, “Why put yourself through all that pain, that work? Who cares?” and the other One says, “Trust me.  I showed you those letters for a reason, so do what I have put before you.  Don’t worry about the outcome.  The process is important.”

I keep learning about this thing called “life, this thing I have called retirement.”  It is a journey, and it will be as exciting and fulfilling or as boring or dreary as I make it.  It’s all about whose voice  I listen to, who am I living for.  That last sentence brought to mind the lines: “Sometimes you can’t see the forest for the trees.” You get so caught up in the mundane that you miss the big picture, and for me that means glorifying God.

Is there a project you need to get to or finish, as task or goal you have put off?  And in the meantime, are you just going through the motions, doing the same old thing every day?  Then let’s recognize that this is not the life God has for us.  Our lives are to be filled with love, joy, peace, gentleness, and goodness…  And when we are busy filling our days with that which honors God, which glorifies Him, we will experience just such a satisfying life.

Peace and War: A Memoir

 By

Carol Brennan King

The book  I am working on..