What difference do it make?

That’s the name of a book written by Ron Hall, Denver Moore and Lynn Vincent that I just finished.  It is the sequel to Same Kind of Different as Me and both have at the heart, change, reconciliation, an understanding of what it really means to love one another.  Oh and this is all true - these are both nonfiction books.

 Ron Hall is a wealthy art dealer and Denver Moore was born little more than a slave.  Ron’s wife, Deborah brings them together and is the agent of change that God uses to help both men learn to accept and even love the other. And you must understand, this is not a happy ever after book – God honors Deborah’s life through her death from cancer, using her testimony long after she is home with the Father.

I am struggling.  There are no two ways about it.  This retirement is not for sissies.  As I shared with some family members yesterday, three months ago, I had a job, a title, and direction for each day.  My life was filled with people I could serve; after all, I was in ministry, and that is all I wanted since I was 15.  The issue is that now the responsibility is on my shoulders more than ever, to find a way to continue to minister…and to be satisfied with whatever shape that might take.

Denver Moore ministered at Union Gospel Mission in Texas, and eventually Ron Hall came to understand and embrace that same ministry.  Oh, he still bought and sold fine works of art.  He and Denver continued, until God also took Denver home, to speak all over the country, but they came to understand what it really means  - to love one another, and to not have respect of persons.  Have you ever thought about what it might mean to be on the receiving end of someone’s charity, to feel less than, pitied, even judged?   How many of us almost instinctively assume people are in poverty by their own choices – because we pulled ourselves up by our own bootstraps?

For me, one thing I am wrestling with, is what does it mean to really love one another, to love God?  What does it mean to love totally unconditionally – to see beyond the outward appearance to the heart beneath?  I admit and hate that part of me that smells alcohol and is immediately filled with repulsion ( and there is a story behind that).  I hate that part of me that hears certain language and makes judgments, just as I do when I might see a young woman or man in really skinny jeans…or a woman in low cut shirts.  My first thought is, I admit, “Don’t they know better?” when it should instead be concern for them, what kind of way can I love them so they know they are loved, not condemned? So my message of Christ could really be believed?

I am rambling, but I think that is a good thing.  A book should make us think, reflect, and perhaps be a mirror through which God can work.

 image from http://www.ebay.com/itm/What-Difference-Do-It-Make-Stories-of-Hope-and-Healing-/290713370869